I'm not ridiculous all the time....(Remus)

[Sirius Orion Black]

I'm not ridiculous all the time....

Sirius was curled up on his four-poster bed. People always accused him of sleeping in odd positions and he had a hard time explaining to them that sometimes his dog instincts just took over because well...no one was supposed to know he could turn into said dog. Never the less it was very easy for them to believe that Sirius was just an odd duck and that there was nothing strange about him sleeping like that at all, it was just how he worked.

Today he was dreaming and his foot was moving back and forth rather quickly. Lately he had been plagued by dreams about his best friend. It's not that he minded dreaming about doing those things to Remus, after all it had been years ago that Sirius had discovered his attraction to men. He had never told anyone of course, his father would have killed him not merely beat him. He would have been dead. But he couldn't say he'd ever actually kissed a boy. He'd thought about it several times, like when that brunette in Ravenclaw would lick his lips in Charms it was like he was doing it on purpose, to tease Sirius, to make him want to throw him against a wall and ravage him.

Not that he would know the first thing about ravaging a boy because, well he'd never tried. In theory it would be much the same as ravaging a female just with differnt placement but all the same it was a mystery to Sirius. And having these dreams about running his hands through Moony's hair and nibbling on his bottom lip were no help when he would be with real life Mooney and find himself staring a his friend. This had to stop or else Sirius had to do something about it. But currenlty he was just sleeping, enjoying another dream about moony's hands and the smoothness of his skin and the way he could pick out every single scar that covered his chest, at least dream Moony. Sirius couldn't say he had ever really inspected real life MOony's chest very thoroughly.

He was awoken though, rather suddenly by tsomeone walking into the dormitory. So started was he, in fact, that he sprung off of his bed and hit the floor rather hard. "Ouuuch" He grabbed is bare foot where it had scraped against the hardwood and whined fora moment, looking up to see who it was that had interupted a particuraly intriguing dream (Remus had been nibbling on his ear lobe).

...sometimes i'm asleep

[Remus John Lupin]

Remus raked his fingers though his hair for what felt like the millionth time. There was no way he was having these feelings. Not about him. The overall fact that the male pronoun was used, was enough to send him into a frenzy of pacing and hair raking. The feelings for males started the summer before, add that with the close companionship with his best friends and the fact that once a month, he woke up naked from his transformations with three guys piled on top of him.

Not that James or Peter did much for him. James had all of the personality of a wet mop and a huge… ego. Peter was a silly little rat and like a little brother. Not much room for hot and sweaty romantic thoughts there. But, Sirius. Oh boy, Sirius. He always looked amazing and with his brilliant body, he was surprised that some normal physical reactions didn’t set the guys off to how he was feeling. He looked up the stairs of the dormitories and knew that Sirius was alone up there. Over the summer, he swore to himself he would tell Sirius everything.

He scaled the stairs, as quickly as his long legs could carry him. He was tall, but shorter than most of his friends. He needed to tell Sirius, or go crazy from the pent up lust and desire that he felt for the other male. The doorknob was cold in his hand and made everything real. Like he was actually going to go into the room and demand… something from Sirius. With a few deep breaths to mentally prepare what he was about to do. The various experiences he was able to gain over the summer led him to believe he was a very submissive bottom. He wasn’t too sure what that meant, but he could tell that the various males he met were correct about that sort of thing.

He opened the door and saw his best friend, the object of his desire, sprawled out of the floor, moaning and groaning in pain. Moony almost felt pathetic for desiring this man so much when he was behaving like this. Remus crouched down next to the other male and smiled at him, “You alright, Padfoot?” he asked while brushing some of Sirius’s hair out of his eyes and smiling at those gorgeous eyes his friend was lucky enough to possess. He rested his hand on the side of Sirius’s face, cupping his cheek. Sure his touch never lingered this long before, but he was determined to have Padfoot, at least until he was positive that Sirius only batted for one team, despite the various rumors going around.

[Sirius Orion Black]

Sirius wasn't sure how he felt about the situation when he realized it was Moony standing in the door as he clutched his foot in pain. On the one hand he had to wonder whether his dreaming had beckoned Remus here, if his subconscious was pressuing him to do something, or if he were still dreaming. He wasn't quite sure. The pain in his foot tried to rule out dreaming straight away but Sirius wasn't exactly sure. It did not help the issue when Remus cane to kneel next to him and inquire about his well being.

As his friends fingers brushed strands of his hair behind his ears Sirius couldn't help himself and closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling of Remus touching his skin. He must still be dreaming, he decided. There was no way Remus would be behaving this way if he were awake. Sure, sometimes Sirius had picked up on subtle things that might lead him to believe that Remus shared a mutual attraction with himself but there was no way he would be this forward, no way either of them would me.

His foot was forgotton as the rough, abused fingers cupped around his cheek. Looking up at Remus he delighted in the way his hair was pulled back in it's usual pony tail, the way his eyes seemed to have a kind of determined glint to them. Yes, he would be a fool to think this was naything other than a dream. And if it was a dream that meant he could continue to do the things he had been doing in his dream previously. However, this felt much more real and Sirius felt much more self conscious in this state. Almost without thinking about it Sirius reached up and put his and on the wrist of Remus' extended hand, follwing the arm back until he had his hand situated on Remus' shoulder.

"I was Dreaming about you, Moony." He wasn't really sure why he said that since he was almost positive that he was in fact still dreaming, but then again things didn't always make sense in a dream. There wre no rules so he was sure he was allowed to talk about a previous dream. He couldn't help wishing this were real though, wishing that by some miracle Remus was actually touching his face and looking at him that way that made the skin on Sirius' body stand on end and made him want to rip his shirt open and sink his teeth into him. But he wasn't about to fool himself into thinking it was.

[Remus John Lupin]

He was. There was no way he was really experiencing this. Padfoot, his slutty best friend who thought that the world was his playground, he was touching Remus in the tender ways that the werewolf always thought were reserved for his dreams. Yes, Remus dreamt of Sirius often, what it would be like to be with the other man, to be held by him and know that nothing in the world could feel more perfect. To make love to Sirius, as his dreams usually went that far, would be the most amazing thing he’s ever experienced.

Padfoot closed his eyes to the touch, and it made Remus smile. He loved being with the other male, and he was sure that he was falling in love with him. This was rather forward for the otherwise bookish male, but when he wanted something as badly as he wanted Sirius, it seemed okay to do all of this. It seemed fine to touch him and smile at him and-and eventually, kiss the other man. He came into the room with a mission, and he wanted to fulfill it.

Remus wanted to make a comment, when his hand rested on his shoulder. He looked into his friends eyes and could make out the tiniest glints of gold in there. Light amber, probably from when he turns into Snuffles, the lovable stray. Remus wanted to close the tiny gap between them, seal this all with their lips pressed against each other. His body was screaming and pleading for him to do more. To give into that gorgeous face and submit everything for this man. He moved slightly closer to Sirius, and ran his thumb over his friend’s flawless cheek. The door of the dormitory was shut, and everyone else who they shared a room with seemed to be too busy to notice that two males were laying on the floor, gently touching each other and staring into the other’s eyes.

“A-about me?” Remus’s cool calm and collected exterior cracked a little bit when he heard that. He wanted to melt into Sirius’s arms and allow the man to reenact his dreams. That is, even assuming they were dreams of a sexual nature. “What-what kind of dreams?” Remus asked and tried to swallow the over sized lump in his throat that seemed to block out his voice and his logical thought. Some strands of his light brown hair were falling out of his pony tail, as they sometimes did and framed his face. Remus was maturing quickly compared to his friends, a downsize of being a werewolf, sure the strength and stamina were nice when they were running away from trouble, but what else would be need to use it for?

[Sirius Orion Black]

Sirius was having trouble remembering how he had ended up on the floor. The pain in his foot which had moments before had him whining was forgotten now that the boy he had been previously dreaming about was here in front of him, rubbing his thumb against the skin on Sirius' cheek. As he looked at him he noticed taht as Remus moved his head some of the hair that was usually held so properly to the back of his head was comng loose. Acting impulsively Sirius leaned forward and pulled the tie completely out of Remus hair.

Watching the strands of brown fall down over his best friends' shoulder Sirius couldn't help himself, his fingers found them and gently moved through them as he listned to Remus stutter out his question. Smiling slightly, Sirius thought about how much he liked the fact that his friend seemed nervous. Perhaps his heart was beating quickly. Perhaps Sirius' should be, because in fact this was a very strrange situation for him to be in, one he would never put himself in if he was in a normal state of mind. But since he was still tired and felt like it was possible he might still be in a dream he was willing to do things he wouldn't normally be.

"Dreams where I"m near you...like this...and where I'm not afraid of being near you like this." He smiled at Remus. He wasn't sure that really made sense but he didn't think Remus would mind. The urge to ravage the boy in front of him was trying to over take him again and as he had moved closer to him in his attempt to touch Remus' hair, Sirius was finding it harder and harder to resist but yet he did.

[Remus John Lupin]

Remus shook his head lightly when Sirius removed his leather hair band. When he decided to grow his hair long, he started to tie it back and he loved it. What he liked even more, was that Sirius had longish hair too. It made them similar in a strange way. Remus couldn’t help but notice how close the two men were when he pulled out his hair back. Remus moved his hand from Sirius’s cheek to the back of his neck and smiled lightly at his friend. Remus cupped the back of Sirius’s neck.

Puddle. A puddle on the ground. Those fingers though his hair and that gaze on him and he was gone. Remus’s heart was beating too quickly and he was sure that Sirius could hear it. It was so loud, why weren’t people running in to see what was wrong? Remus was only a few inches away from Sirius’s lips and it was torture. He knew that girls threw themselves at Sirius and he wasn’t surprised. Sirius was easily the best looking male in their year. And there he was, holding Remus and making him liquefy right there on the floor of the Gryffindor dorms.

Remus needed this. He wanted it so badly and it was about time he stopped denying himself what he wanted. “Oh bugger this.” He pulled Sirius closer to him and covered his friend’s lips with his own and closed his eyes in pure pleasure. All of those things that he wanted for so long, compiled into this one kiss.

[Sirius Orion Black]

It took Sirius by surprise when he was suddenly pulled into a almost frantic kiss by his best friend. it was at that moment that he was absolutely certain that he was still dreaming no matter how real this felt or how good Remus smelled as he breathed in the musk of the outdoors and parchment that always followed his bestfriend around. Taking a handful of his hair he immediately responsded to the kiss.

If he was going to continue dreaming about Remus he was going to enjoy it because gods did it feel good to kiss Remus. This time was better than it had ever seemed before and Sirius decided he must have delved into a deeper part of his self conscious to produce these sorts of feelings. At any point he might wake up and this moment would be gone. Before that happened he decided he was going to take full advantage of this delusion. Poking at the break in Remus lips he probed his way inside and basked in the feeling of Remus' warm mouth around his tounge.

Pulling back for a moment, his hand still buried in Remus hair, a look of fire in his eyes, he looked deep into his best friends eyes as though he were searching them. Maybe he was, maybe he was searching for some shred of reality, some shred of truth that could make this a real experience even though it was so unbelievable that this could be happening right now. He just held them there for a moment, his mouth burning to kiss those lips again, his body aching to press closer to his companion, but at the moment he just wanted to look, just wanted to try and will this into reality.

[Remus John Lupin]

None of his dreamings prepared him for this. None of those fantasies that he wanted so dearly to be true could make him imagaine it would be this amazing! His fingers laced into Sirius's hair as he pulled his friend as close to him as he could. He didn't want to scare the other male off with the almost wolven desire for touch, but it was there. Buried in his subconscious. He wanted nothing more than to rip Sirius's clothes off and throw him on the bed. But the timid Englishmen he was, refused to allow those urges to take over his body.

Remus felt Sirius's tongue slip into his mouth and the urge to rip off clothing and toss him onto the bed only grew. Remus massaged Padfoot's tongue with his own and tried to block out all thoughts that he might be doing something wrong from his head. There was something familiar and fantastic about kissing a member of the same sex. Sure Remus snogged girls before, mainly under prompting from Sirius and James, but it never felt as good as this. Moony felt his eyes shut and block out the outside world. He couldn't care less if James or Peter came into the dorm for whatever reason, he was finally able to give him something that he wanted. He wanted to kiss Sirius and he did.

The werewolf tried to catch his breath when the kiss was broken, as he searched Sirius's eyes for any signs of disgust or regret. He could tell that Sirius was doing the same thing, maybe looking for the same signs. Remus took his friends hands in his and got off the floor of the dorm. The view of under James's bed from down there was slightly killing the mood, greying boxers, not appealing. Remus went to the bed that Sirius fell off of and looked at his friend while slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Remus was usually self conscious about his pale and scarred body, but it seemed okay if Sirius saw him. Remus neatly folded the shirt and placed it on the bedside table and looked back at his friend, while biting his lower lip gently. Dominate Remus was rather terrifying for the submissive voice in his head that was screaming at him to stop.

[Sirius Orion Black]

Sirius hadn't realized how distracted he was or how long he had been sitting on the floor for until Remus pulled him to his feet. It was rather hard to have control over his knees when all they wanted to do was pool back onto the floor. Had Remus seemed alright with it Sirius probalby would ahve proceeded to shag him right there on the floor. But the fact that his best friend seemed unsure about the activities was the first thing that tipped Sirius off to the fact that maybe he wasn't dreaming anymore. maybe this was actually happening, maybe...

He was finally filled with hesitation and self consciousness. Yes he had fantisized about Remus more times than he could count but he had never actually gone after those feelings not had he even experimented with any other people of the same sex. He had been too nervous too, too nervous that if he had it would prove that he did actually like boys and that would mean he was in fact in love with Remus. And that would ruin everything, wouldn't it? Maybe it wouldn't if remus felt the same and if this wasn't a dream then he clearly did feel the same.

Remus had pulled him back onto his bed and had started unbottoning his shirt which caused Sirius' breath to hitch in his throat. There were those scars that he had dreamed of, almost identical to how he had imagined them. pale, smooth looking raised lines on his transluscent skin. Reaching out he traced a few of them in a very sensual way, marveling at how beautiful such destruction could be. As he ran his fingers over the marks of his past Sirius imagine how he had sustained such wounds, felt all the pain and anguish he imagined Remus going through.

"This can't be happening. It isn't real." But although the words escaped him, Sirius had pretty much c onvinced himself at this point that it was actually happening. After all, he had never before been able to have coherent thoughts while snogging Remus in his dreams. Oh dear, he had been snogging Remus and hadn't even realized it was actually happening. When this thought hit Sirius it was all he could think about. He knew exactly what he wanted to do immediately. Leaning forward he curled one hand around Remus neck and pulled his friend to him again.

As soon as their lips met his heart sped up in his chest and his skin burned. Without really thinking about it Sirius crawling into Remus lap so he was as close as he could possibly get to him and very tenderly explored all of the skin exposed by his open shirt.

[Remus John Lupin]

He knew that Sirius would have kept going on the floors, but as tempting as that seemed… the floor was hard and Remus wasn’t part dog like Sirius. He was part wolf and that well…was really no better. Remus looked up at him with complete innocence in his eyes. Never even thinking it would go this far with the other male. Or that he would get very far with any male if he did decide that this was the life he wanted. He wasn’t sure about what it would be like to have a long term relationship with his best friend, or if they would even make it past this night. But he wanted to live for the moment for once.

To not be shy and self conscious about his body. Sure the scars were self inflicted but they were the ultimate sign of what he was. He was a monster who lost complete control over his body once a month and tried to go on a savage spree. Thankfully, Sirius, James and Peter all turned into animals to help. Peter, being a rat, not so helpful. But a powerful stag and a large shaggy dog were able to keep him down fine. In fact, the feelings for the male above him started with those monthly sleep overs down in the Shack. Waking up, every muscle sore from the transformation, butt naked and a sleeping Sirius Black laying on top of him.

Remus shuddered lightly, a tingle went down his spine when Sirius traced over his scars. Remus looked up at his friend and watched his expressions. The fascination in his eyes and the almost sexual way his gaze was devouring Remus. Now would be the time that he would say something sexy and it would result in the two males ripping the remainer of their clothes off in a highly teenaged moment of lust and intrigue. However, that just happened in the movies and erotic smut. This, being neither. This was real life and in real life, the awkward werewolf sat waiting while the illegal dog animagii traced over his tortured body with those impossibly soft hands.

“It is…” Remus bit his lower lip gently, about to get up and apologize to his friend and maintain what was left of his sanity. Which seemed to be slipping with every stroke of Sirius’s fingers on his chest. Remus was snapped out of his negative thoughts when Sirius cupped the back of his neck and forced the other male to look up at him. Remus felt his breath hitch in his throat and he wanted to look into those eyes forever. His friend did possess the sexiest eyes the werewolf had ever seen. No wonder girls threw themselves at Sirius.

Remus moaned softly when Sirius crawled onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around the other male and slipped his hands to the front of Sirius’s shirt and tried to open the damn tiny buttons. The movies and novels all made this seem easy. He kissed his friend back with as much passion as he could muster up, gave up on the shirt and raked his fingers though Sirius’s hair.

[Sirius Orion Black]

Sirius chuckled when Remus began trying to unbutton his shirt and seemed to be having trouble with the task. Countless numbers of girls had removied shirts from him in the past. Okay, maybe not countless, but quite a few. Maybe it said something a bout those kinds of girls if they seemed to be very able to remove someone's clothing when Remus, pure innocent Remus, was having so much trouble. He liked that, the thought that Remus was diferent than the rest of them and the way his friend was growling softly at the piece of cotton covering Sirius' chest.

The dog in Sirius took over when Remus' fingers found their way into his hair. He couldn't help it, he leaned into that, being careful not to lean too far away as he didn't ever want to stop kissing Remus. Why had he waited so long? Yes, okay, there was the problem of not having even ever dreamed it could be a possibility Remus would want to take part in these sorts of activities with him but he was Sirius Black, he should have just gone after what he wanted and dealt with the consequences afterwards. Never mind, it was happening now and he was thoroughly enjoying it.

A low dog life rumble escaped Sirius' chest as he showed his appreciation for the way Remus was touching him and in the same breath Sirius pulled back from their kiss. Steadying himself with a hand on both of Remus' shoulders he leaned over and started nibbling on the other boy's neck. That close to his skin he could smell the salt on it at the same time he was tasting it. The smooth texture was everything Sirius could have dreamed of and his hands found Remus' sides again as his teeth trailed a path up to his friends hairline.

Burying his mug in Remus mane of hair of a moment he inhaled deeply taking in the wonderous clean smell mixed with a bith of that woodsy aroma that constantly clung to him. Groaning slightly Sirius muttered "Gods, Moony, you smell bloody delicous".

[Remus John Lupin]

His deepest and darkest fantasies could not prepare Remus for this. No part of his sensible mind could. Remus worked well with spells, and he did very well with his studies because he was very comfortable with living in sole reality. He wasn’t the type to daydream in class, until Sirius infected his mind and changed everything that was once sacred to the werewolf. His notes went from prestine, to sketches of the young man when he would sit next to Remus and sleep in class. When his fantasies did take over him recently, he was always able to at least take of Sirius’s shirt without humiliation.

Remus loved how soft Sirius’s hair was and felt amazing under his fingers. This was better than any of his dreaming and he could feel the physical reaction it was giving him. Sure he got hard before from his fantasies about Sirius, but he usually broke his dreams as soon as it started. Mostly because when he got hard, it made it real. Made him actually have to admit he was having such sexual thoughts about a man. Enough sexual thoughts to make him hard, desperate for another man to shove his equally hard cock inside of Remus’s ass. Make it too real and too absurd.

The werewolf tilted his head to the side and felt a throaty moan escape his lips when Sirius got to work tasting and nipping at his neck. Remus ran his hands down from Sirius’s hair to the base of his neck and pulled the male towards him more. It felt so good, that he was moaning openly. Wolves were suckers for touch and a neck was highly sensitive for most of them. His research had yet to give a reason why. He tilted his head towards Sirius and bit his lower lip when his friend went towards his hair.

Remus unbuckled Sirius’s pants and slipped his hands under the waistband. “You’re whole body is delicious Sirius, drive me bloody mad.”

[Sirius Orion Black]

Sirius was completely caught up in this interaction. It was pathetic really how being sexually stimulated never failed to block out any other thoughts Sirius might be having. With his eyes hooded he just kept seeing the Remus in his dreams, running his callused hands up sirius' sides and pulling at the belt that block them from the Animagus' groin. Groaning as the belt was undone Sirius shivered at Remus' words, enjoying the husky breathless way they were said. The fact he had that kind of effect on his best friend made his mouth water.

But when Remus fingers slipped around his now hard length, something snapped. It became real, maybe. Sirius sprung away from Remus, which served to be rather painful for him as the nerves all over his body ached for the touch it had previously been feeling. The brown eyes on his face were wide with shock, fright, something along those lines, and he looked at Remus as though he were seeing him for the first time. It broke his heart to do this but it was really freaking him out that this was happening.

Sure he had been dreaming about it for weeks and wishing it would happen while he was awake but there was a difference between dreaming and wishing and it really happening. Shaking his head, his breath ragged, he did up his newly undone jeans and recovered his shirt from the place it had been discarded on the floor. Looking back to Remus, there was pain on his face. "I'm...I'm sorry, Moony, I just...I just..." But he couldn't finish it, instead he turned and rushed from the room, not quite sure where he was headed but knowing he had to get there fast.